What to do in Langkawi with kids in tow

Don't forget the sunscreen and the sun hat...

Keep the kids and the bags together at the airport so that one does not suffer at the expense of the other.

Take the cable car ride. The kids will gain perspective of scales - endless sea, heights, how small we are in the sum of things; there are small waterfalls to point out to; you can explain the concept of "jungle" to them; and, they learn that there are more ways to travel then just by car or plane.

Do take a boat ride... to anywhere. The kids were thrilled and the sights were breathtaking. Our destination was an eagle feeding site and a visit to a fish farm where there are baracudas to marvel at; fish that jump into the air to nibble at your finger; eels to stroke and garoupas to lure from the dark they prefer to languish in. Very educational trip that was.

Don't know how long this eagle feeding thing has been around for, but it was the best thing we did on the trip. It was just an amazing sight to watch these creatures fly out of the dense forests, swoop down to pick up the chicken skin pieces the tour guides throw into the water, and immediately pass it to their beaks. They then fly up, circle and swoop down again. Once all the pieces are gone, they fly away, mostly to the highest peaks of the rocky hills that surrounded us.

The kids of course would love nothing more than to spend hours just splashing around in the pool. Check out how our little fella armed himself with TWO floats - one of which he stole from his cousin. Note that the cousin looks distressed from all the bullying. They absolutely loved the beach too. It was Jeshan's first introduction to sand and sea but since the mummy's were taking some time out to go shopping, nobody was around to remember to take pictures of that very important moment.

Are playgrounds safe enough for our kids?

In the US, playgrounds are fenced in. Adults without a child in their care, are by law, not allowed to step into the play area. This automatically makes the playground a safe haven.

The fencing means parent's do not have to worry about their kids running into a drain, or unto the road or simply wondering off. The law on the other hand, keeps paedophiles, kidnappers and other unwanted characters out.

What happened to Nurin just goes to show how unsafe our neighbourhoods have become.

The authorities should consider making areas where families and children hang out, safe. The playground is a good place to start.

All I ever really needed to know

A friend introduced me to this book some years ago and I think it is one of the best books ever written. Here's an excerpt:

All I Ever Really Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten
- by Robert Fulghum

Most of what I really need to know about how to live, and what to do, and how to be, I learned in Kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sandbox at nursery school.

These are the things I learned: Share everything. Play fair. Don't hit people. Put things back where you found them. Clean up your own mess. Don't take things that aren't yours. Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody. Wash your hands before you eat. Flush. Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you. Live a balanced life. Learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work some every day.

Take a nap every afternoon. When you go out into the world, watch for traffic, hold hands, and stick together. Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the plastic cup. The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.

Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the plastic cup - they all die. So do we.

And then remember the book about Dick and Jane and the first word you learned, the biggest word of all: LOOK . Everything you need to know is in there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation, ecology and politics and sane living.

Think of what a better world it would be if we all - the whole world - had cookies and milk about 3 o'clock every afternoon and then lay down with our blankets for a nap. Or if we had a basic policy in our nation and other nations to always put things back where we found them and clean up our own messes. And it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out into the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.

Tips for travelling with toddlers

These tips have been tried and tested twice, once on a 9 hour flight to Sydney and again on a long long haul to Madison, Wisconsin through Taipei, Los Angeles, Detroit, Minneapolis and some other place I can't remember. Hope they work for you.

BABY’S STUFF CHECKLIST

I discovered to my amazement that a baby needs so much more than two adults when travelling. They just need so much stuff!! To help me get organised I researched for hours and then I made lists, and lists and lists...

For the flight
Changing Kit: This is a small bag which contains Diapers, Changing Mat, Drapolene cream, Plastic grocery or zip lock bags for soiled diapers, Wet wipes, and a nappy for drying wet behinds
Have a separate bag for your changing kit so that you only need to take this with you when you go to the bathroom for diaper changes. (Find out early which lavatories have a changing table)
Blankets (it gets cold up there)
Tissues
Toys and Books (see below for selection of toys)
Change of clothes
Pyjamas (optional)
Bibs, Baby’s fork and spoon, a small plate.
Sippy Cup/ Water Cup
Milk bottle (one kept in your hand luggage under the seat and the rest can keep overhead as the stewardess will wash bottle and fill with warm water for you)
Snacks
Waterless hand soap
Car Seat (optional)
Stroller (seriously recommended)
Pacifier (to make them suck to prevent air pressure in the ears)
Pillow and Bolster and whatever helps baby sleep at night
Colouring Kit
Juice, Water (not allowed in plane)
Bernadryl for when they get uncontrollable
Milk Dispenser
Hot water, cold water (for airport. You need to empty these before entering the plane)
Tin of milk in overhead hand luggage

First aid checklist
Thermometer
Fever med
Waterless liquid soap
Sterile bandages and gauze
Tweezers
Sunscreen
Lotion
Cold pack
Dettol
Eucalyptus Oil
Insect repellent
Cold Balm
Panadol
Cough Mixture
Anti histamines
Diarrhoea medicine
`

General packing
Toys and a few new books that will entice them.
Colouring book
Stickers!!
Milk tins
Diapers
Towel
Warm Clothing
Pyjamas
Wash cloth
Milk Bottles
Diaper cream
Medication
Tupperwares for freezing food
Fork and Spoons
Eating bowls
Cups
Sippy cups
Wet wipes
Biscuits
Cereal
Soap, shampoo
Socks
Shoes
Clothes


Flight tips
Infant food must be reserved 24 hours prior to departure – so don’t forget!! Call 1300 88 3000 or 03-87764321
Good seats on 747: Row 30ABC – book as soon as you can. They get snapped up quickly.
Good seats of 777 Row 11DEFGH. Trust me I did the homework
Sit near galley/lav
Sit in front
Avoid bulkhead, which are the seats that face a “wall”. The armrest can’t be removed.
On MAS flights at least, the stewardess will actually mix the milk for you. Just give them the bottle and the milk tin/ milk dispenser and they will do the rest, including wash the milk bottle. This helps especially since you can’t carry hot or cold water into the craft.


Packing tips
Start preparing to pack a few weeks before you travel. Keep an ongoing list of items to bring.
Pack an extra shirt or top for yourself in your carry on bag in case baby spills something on you
Prevent leaks by packing meds and toiletries in re-sealable plastic bags
Keep an energy boosting snack handy for you to much on. You will need it especially during layovers.
Keep your baby’s outfits together in one suitcase. If you’re really organised, roll each outfit and secure with rubberband.

Possible toys and tricks to keep toddlers occupied and entertained
Books: get a few new books and spring it on them when the flight is taking off and they need to be distracted and kept in their seats. It is a good way to make some miles fly by and relaxe them.

A cheap 9" x 12" baking sheet: Use as a playing surface so crayons, Matchbox cars, Legos, and other small items don't roll away. (Repeatedly retrieving dropped toys gets old really quickly.)

Magnetized letters, numbers, and shapes: Use these with the baking sheet to make words, spell names, or create pictures.Sticker books, activity books, and stick-on plastic picture sets: Particularly great for toddlers — they allow your child to express creativity without using pens on the upholstery. Can stick them on the hand rest, seat in front, baby’s shoes, daddy’s hand when he is asleep. These can be removed before getting off the flight.Crayons: for colouring of course.Play doh – this is especially great if it is new to your child. Get some cookie cutters and watch the time fly by!

A favourite toy that has been hidden away for a while – The familiar is sometimes a good gift. Hide them away some time before the trip and spring them on baby when he least expects it.

A few gift-wrapped surprise presents: Buy something new and wrap them in several layers, they take longer to open.

Colored pipe cleaners: These flexible wonders are great for making just about anything - animal and flower shapes, stick people, jewellery etc.

A small flashlight: Little boys especially just love this. Ask them to look for fallen toys under the seat.

Get a little zipped purse and put a bunch of things inside that your child will enjoy
opening and discovering.

If all else fails and you need some time to yourself, check the inflight movies for the kids channel and let them watch Barney for a safe option. Some of the others kids options are either violent or over the top - too much for a little bub to deal with.

Part two: Mat Motors

The episode yesterday with the motorcyclist reminded me of an encounter a friend had a few weeks back while returning to KL from Kuala Selangor.

She was driving along with a friend, both minding their own business when a bunch of mat rempit (I intentionally refuse to capitalise M and R) started following them. They made faces at my friend and her friend - and they were rightly ignored.

I guess they didn't take too lightly to being ignored so they picked up rocks and started hurling them at my friend's car. A sure way to get someone's attention huh.

The poor girl now has dents all over her car from the rocks. It was scary to say the least for the two girls but I must say, their encounter was a close call.

Not so lucky were a couple who made it to the news just the day before. A boy was sending his girlfriend back to her home somewhere near Kampung Pandan on a motorbike when they were followed by a group of mat rempit. They surrounded the couple and asked the girl to go with them. She refused and the boyfriend managed to slip his motorbike past them. They sped to follow him and he sped to leave them behind. Unfortunately, they caught up to him and kicked his bike. The couple fell. The boy died on the way to the hospital from head injuries and the girl was warded to treat some broken bones.

This whole mat motor/ rempit issue has gone too far. These fellas have become a law unto themselves. They have threatened and harassed and killed and yet they still roam freely. They appear from nowhere, crawling out of their black holes like rats and disappearing into them just a quickly. They cannot be traced. They can do anything and get away with it. They have and that's why they continue to be so brave.

Pack mentality. This is why I refused to be ragged back in university. When guys get together, there's no telling what they can drive each other to do.

So how are the authorities going to get these rats? They've got to start luring them out - bait them. Dangle some cheese. Enforcement needs to be stepped up.

Witnesses to such crimes should stay alert and memorise their motorbike numbers then report them to the police. That's the only way to ensure justice is done - spot them while they are out of their holes and in the midst of committing crimes, then tag them. Tag them so that when they come out of their holes again the police know which rats they need to trap.

Ughh... these fellows on motorbikes

It was a drizzly evening yesterday and there I was minding my own business in the safe confines of my car, while waiting for a traffic light to change. Suddenly there was a loud "wham" as though something had hit my car hard and I looked to see a thin motorcyclist clad in a red t-shirt whiz away from the left side of my car. He had just run into my side mirror.

I recovered from the shock of that very loud sound, checked if the mirror could still move up and down when I pressed the control button and watched that fellow zoom away as soon as the traffic light changed.

I was mad enough to want to follow him but decided I should just let it go. Why work myself up, he will be long gone before i reach him.

Unfortunately, I had a guest waiting at home so in my excitement I forgot to check the mirror when I got home and got out of the car.

It was not until this morning that I noticed that the back portion of my side mirror is missing. I cringed and moaned inwardly and the figure of the red clad lad flashed in my head.

Who was he? Where do irresponsible people like him start their journey? No stop to say sorry, no little wave. Not even a care to assess the damage.

So who made him? Why are there people like him? Why? Why? Why? Why do I have to pay for his mistakes?

And there I went, working myself up over a stranger I will never see again.

Really though, who are these boys? And why are they so reckless. They don't care for their lives or the lives of others. He just couldn't care less who he hurt along the way. Why are people so selfish? It all begins at home man... it all begins at home.

The home is supposed to be a safe place for children to be nurtured and given a good start in life. But parents just mess things up and then their children become so messed up and then they go ahead and start their own families - but they are so messed up that they mess up their families too and the cycle just goes on and on and on.

Soon there is a proliferation of messed up people that multiplies with each new generation.

It makes me weep. I weep for all the children who are driven to insanity. Who are tortured, abused, ignored, spoilt and left to fend for themselves. Where will they end up? Who will they turn into?

I wish messed up people wouldn't have children.

Once upon a time

I first started journaling when I was in secondary school. 1991 I think. I recently opened a chest and pulled out the dusty old diary. Somebody had gifted it for my birthday.

Since then there have been many more journals. I start a new one every year.

There was a time when I would spend the first few days of the New Year reading the previous years diary yo see how I have grown, how I have changed and what I have accomplished. I would then open my new journal and write on the first page all the dreams I have for that year, everything I want to have done by the end of 365 days.

No time for all that now. I still keep a journal but reflection is something that you need hours and at times, days alone for.

Sometimes though I open this chest and just glance through a few pages and I am shocked by what I find inside. So long ago, memories I have blocked out because they were so painful. Some stuff made me laugh. Then I came across this notation, "Mary says if you can look back on a year and you have not laughed or cried, then you have NOT lived." Very profound this friend of mine. Always hits the nail on the head.

Anyway, I opened my first diary and of course it was very amusing. Very kiddie too - lots of newspaper and magazine clippings about the New Kids on the Block. I was crazy about them back then. There are a few poems about love, cause you know, that age, teenage crushes and all.
But there were also two things in that that turned out to be very important in my future.

One was a quote/poem by Anne Morrow Lindbergh:

"A good relationship has a pattern like a dance and is built on some of the same rules. The partners do not need to hold on tightly, because they move confidently in the same pattern, intricate but gay and swift and free, like a country dance of Mozart's. To touch heavily would be to arrest the pattern and freeze the movement, to check the endlessly changing beauty of its unfolding. There is no place here for the possessive clutch, the clinging arm, the heavy hand; only the barest touch in passing. Now arm in arm, now face to face, now back to back -- it does not matter which. Because they know they are partners moving to the same rhythm, creating a pattern together, and being invisibly nourished by it."

This turned out to be the theme around which my wedding centred, and with which we hoped our marriage would centre too. Partners in the same rhythm, creating a pattern together and being nourished....

The second was a quote by Joseph Pulitzer:
"A journalist is the lookout on the bridge of the ship of state. He notes the passing sail, the little things of interest that dot the horizon in fine weather. He reports the drifting castaway whom the ship can save. He peers through fog and storm to give warnings of dangers ahead. He is not thinking of his wages or the profits of his owners. He is there to watch over the safety and welfare of the people that trust him."

I had copied that down from the Reader's Digest in 1994. I was in my first year of journalism studies but I had no intention at that time to become a journalist. Yet, this was the kind of journalist I strived to be, at least at heart. Every time I saw injustice I remembered his words.

It is my experience that journals are an asset. They show you where you have been, what you did there; why you did or did not do something. They remind you why you made certain decisions and by this, help you stick to them.

Journals are like the perfect listening ear. They do not interrupt or tell you what to do. They cannot judge you or use what you said against you. Most importantly, they will not repeat what you shared of yourself to someone else.

Poor Nurin

I was so, so disturbed by the tragedy that robbed Nurin of her life. Everytime I think of her I am moved to tears. I close my eyes and imagine what it must have been like for her, just eight being tortured like that and I just can't take it.

It made me question God. Why would God allow something like that to happen to poor, innocent little children? I asked and asked and then it hit me that prayer moves the hand of God. I immediately felt remorse for my own lack of action. As a nation, as people of different faiths, what did we do after we read of Nurin's disappearance? Most of us just turned the page. Just another story right? Happens everyday. It makes me wonder what would have happened had we as people of faith bothered to prayed for her. Fasted for her safe return.

Am sure things would have turned out differently for Nurin, for prayer changes things. This, is the answer I felt God was giving me for my shallow question.